"I don't have any words of wisdom. I come to understand."
Those were the words she said to me as we sat down to process this week's events. She came to me in her role as the literacy instructional leader, but more importantly, she came as my friend. Her words made me stop and I laughed, saying that they were profound words...words worthy of splashing across a sign to hang where everyone could see. However, I wasn't joking. I meant it.
"I don't have any words of wisdom. I come to understand."
What would happen if instead of coming to the table with all the answers, we came to listen and understand? I know it's something that I work on every day as a wife, a parent, a friend, a teacher and literacy coach. It's not easy for me. My natural tendency is to come up with a solution immediately (or even come to a conclusion before I understand the whole problem...not really a very good trait). I have a million not so pretty stories of this character trait not working out so well for me.
What would happen if we all gave each other the benefit of understanding and assuming best intentions? So many hurt feelings would be avoided.
Each morning, I begin my day with meditation, writing my gratitudes in my journal and setting an intention for the day. I learned about creating a "to be" list from another teacher leader and friend. I ask myself, "What or how do I want to be today?" If there is something going on with the girls, my intention is often to focus on being patient. Sometimes my intention is to be present in the moment and enjoy what comes my way.
Today my intention is to listen to the message my friend gave to me.
I want to understand for the sole purpose of gaining insight to what others are thinking and feeling.
I don't need to have any profound answers or solutions.
I will come to understand.
Those are words to take to heart. So much more is accomplished when we understand.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful, wise post. I agree that listening more and presuming good intentions would make such a difference.
ReplyDeleteListening is difficult for me sometimes too. I am just beginning to work on mindfulness.
ReplyDeleteYour post is a good reminder about the power of deep listening, and your morning routine sounds so purposeful. I'm hearing you and learning -- thank you!
ReplyDeleteListening. There is so much to push aside sometimes so we can really listen. This is such great advice. Thank you for sharing this today.
ReplyDeleteOh my heart. This is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI love your friend's words. I COME TO UNDERSTAND. I need to remember those, at work and with my boys. Today I went with my oldest to the Medicaid office and then to the Mental Health Clinic for a shot he gets every month. He said he wanted me to see what he goes through every day, and it was definitely an eye opener. We had the best talk in the car, and I think it was because I was just too floored to try to come up with answers. Thank you!
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