Monday, March 23, 2015

Reflections on 30 Years of Marriage Day 23 of 31

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Today my husband and I celebrate our 30th anniversary. He gave me the framed the picture below, which was taken on our honeymoon. It made me cry because those 2 young people thought that as long as they loved each other, everything was going to be ok. They didn't know how hard it would be. They didn't know that their marriage would almost end as they neared the 29 year mark. They didn't know that they would have to reach to the bottom of their very beings to find what would make that marriage continue.

This morning, I asked my husband to make a list with me. If we could go back in time, what advice would we give that young, naive couple who were so fiercely in love. This is what we came up with in no particular order:


1.  Being married is hard work. You both need to give 100%.
2.  Live within your means. Refer back to #1. Adding money problems to the mix only makes it harder. 
3.  Have each other's backs. 
4.  Find something that you enjoy doing together and do it on a regular basis. 
5.  In the same way, find the things that you love doing on your own and do those too. Don't lose sight of who you are. 
6.  Expect your marriage to go through cycles. There will be ups and downs as you maneuver through life. 
7.  When you're in the downward cycle, don't give up. Be willing to fight for your marriage. 
8.  If the cycle continues, get help.  A good marriage counselor can help you weed through all the garbage and yucky stuff. 
9.  Share your highs and lows with each other. That personal trust is what builds intimacy in your relationship.
10.  Be honest.  Be kind.  Be strong. Be willing to forgive and last but not least, be willing to love.

Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for hosting the March Slice of Life Challenge. 

18 comments:

  1. Beautiful list and OH, SO TRUE! We are at 42 years and I add the difficult moments if life-threatening "of sickness and in health." Do you ever listen to the Christian music group, Casting Crowns. They have a song called "Broken Together." It totally speaks to the challenges of marriage and that we are broken in some way. Happy Anniversary! D :)

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    1. I don't know that song, but will check it out. I often wonder what we still have to learn as we continue on this journey. :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing this. It's a great reminder for those of us who have been married for a while, and for the newlyweds out there. It's hard work, but if it's done right it totally worth it. Happy Anniversary!

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  3. What a wonderful list! #4 and #5 sustain us these days. Dancing for the two of us, and this blogging craze for me. Will I make it to March 31st? He has been very supportive. That helps!

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    1. Margaret, we enjoy traveling together. Now that the kids are older, we can do more of that on a whim. :)

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  4. So many wonderful pieces of advice. Hard work comes with many rewards. Happy Anniversary and may have you have many more wonderful years together.

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  5. What an honest and wonderfully written slice! Happy Anniversary!

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    1. Thank you Jill. I think you have to go through the hard times to appreciate the good times. :)

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  6. Congratulations on your 30 years of marriage! Thank you for the wonderful advice!

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    1. Thank you Jenny. We've had our ups and downs, but all worth it.

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  7. This was very honest and moving. Congratulations on this special anniversary!

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    1. Thank you Janice! I was worried it might be too honest, but it felt like what I need to write. :)

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  8. Happy 30th Anniversary! Your list was so true! Very applicable!

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    1. Thanks Linsey. We've learned a lot in the last 30 years.

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  9. Every couple to be should get a copy of this list, Julie. Marriage is hard. We are approaching our 30 year anniversary soon - and boy, did we ever learn that the hard way...time and time again. Happy Anniversary, my friend .

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    1. Sometime I think we're slow learners, Tara! LOL

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  10. What great advice for all married couples, no matter how long they've been married. Congratulations. Here's to 30 more.

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